Bad Eggs (Buffy, Season 2)

In my high school, students were given bags of flour which they wrapped in paper bags and drew faces on.  Then they had to diaper or otherwise clothe them.  Sunnydale has a much more prosaic means of inculcating good parenting skills on its students:  Mind Control through Assigned Eggs.

And I thought worrying about weevils infesting five-pound bags of flour was bad.  After watching this episode I have a mild case of “oophobia”.

Which is also rather onomonpoeic, come to think of it: “oh, oh, that monster is hatching.”

Honestly, do those programmes in high school ever work to teach us what it is really like to raise a kid?  Somehow, it reeks of fear tactics to me.  And leaves out the part where adults dissolve into gooey masses of cooing noises and bleary-eyes.  Although this can also be a symptom of lack of sleep, come to think of it.

But what to diagnose? Usually when I think of eggs and Chinese medicine, I think of their  nourishing properties.  These eggs, however, were not eaten, although Xander came close.  I find it interesting to observe that before hatching, the creatures snaked their tentacles right onto the primary branch of the ST channel, from ST-9 up to ST-8 and BL-1 (which meets the ST channel), encompassing all the sensory orifices, and after hatching did what Xander discovered was a neural clamp — which to my mind implies the GB channel.  So these creatures were first nourished on the clear yang of the Stomach before seeking the thick fluids in which marrow is bathed.

Yuck.  Let’s find a different diagnosis.

(For the curious, I’d try the following tx: Moxa Du-20 as end of LV channel. Needle GB-39, GB-8 to expel parasites; ST 1, 4, 6, 7 as entrance of creature… and maybe GB-20 as the neural clamping site of the little pink scorpion-esque beasties.)

So, let’s pursue a different tack.

Where you have eggs, you have frying pans.

This being Sunnydale High, frying pans can be found in the science lab (just like mining picks can be found in the utility closet.  Obviously left over from some ethnographical exhibit of the gold rush era of ’49.).

And if a character has a frying pan, someone is going to get bashed in the head with it (this being Sunnydale, after all).  This time, Xander and Buffy are on the receiving end.

They awake amazingly concussion free.  Could they have done it with acupuncture?

In theory, of course.  Do not try this except under the supervision of a qualified practitioner.

Herbally, Gui Pi Tang can be used to treat post-concussion syndrome, unless blood stasis is severe, in which case I would use Tong Qiao Huo Xue Wan. Immediately after being hit, some Gui Zhi Fu Ling Wan might be helpful to resolve blood stasis before it forms by regulating the ying and the wei, and to keep fluids moving properly through the system.

Point-wise, I would want to nourish heart blood and resolve blood stasis in the head.  This is due to external trauma, so I would use the primary channels over any other channel system.

Points I would think of are ST-8 or GB-13, GB-39,  BL-11 (Sea of Blood, located near Du-14 and able somewhat to regulate the cervical vertebrae) or SP-10 (to invigorate blood).  If using the Bladder channel, I might also add BL-15 to clear the heart.  ST-39 to help the Small Intestine sort the clear and unclear, nourish the ye-thick fluids, and regulate blood would also be a point I’d consider.   A somewhat boring prescription, I think, but an effective one.

I would also consider sinew releases at Du-4 and Du-14 to make sure no pathogens are being held through disrupted bodily alignment.

As always, these posts are for theoretical reflection and entertainment only.  If you feel you can benefit from the use of Asian medicine, please see a qualified practitioner.
Happy Slayage!


1 Comment

  1. chironspupil said,

    July 25, 2010 at 13:21

    The small intestine channel can actually be quite effective in treating disorders of the cervical vertebrae. Today, I would add SI03 and SI-5 to this treatment, if not also SI-17.

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